blog1

Fuji x100  @F8  1/20th  ISO 3200

 

I have a friend named Fa.  I'd like to say that I have a girlfriend named Fa, but I don't get a lot of  feedback in the 'girlfriend' category from her.  Love should be a two way street.  At  least that's what I think.  Anyway, I am head-over-heels crazy, nutso, goofy about Fa.  I just think she is fantastic and wonderful in every way.

We have been dating and spending time together for years, but sometimes I get the feeling that we are kind of stuck in a rut.  I just can't seem to get us to the next relationship level.  You know, a  measure of adult intimacy where she might turn to me one day and ask me my opinion about something.  Anything.

So I came up with a plan.  Maybe you have done this yourself, or you know someone who has done this.  I bought a camera.  A 35mm camera first,  then after that there was a Polaroid Land Camera, and a couple of those Instamatic cameras.  But you don't need all that detail.  The point is, I bought a camera.  Why?  Well, I figured that if taking pictures and doing camera things was a part of our relationship it might help us get to the next relationship level.

So, pictures were taken.  I  took pictures of Fa.  I made her take pictures of me.  I  asked people to take pictures of us as a couple.  I bought a scrapbook and filled it with pictures of us.  I had some pictures made bigger and framed them.  I gave some framed  pictures to her.  I even had a beautiful picture of her beautiful face laminated onto one of my T-shirts.

Result?  Not much.  I still have to prime the relationship pump when we are together;  I have to start the sentences, make the smiles, and act out the enthusiasms.  She has never once said that she would like a picture of me.  Or us.  A camera is a trickster, a magic act; it converts three dimensional reality into two dimensional reality.  You can hold  altered reality in your hands, you can freeze time, you can catalogue memories.

But a camera is no substitute  for  emotions.   It  can't make someone love you.  Fa and I still spend  time together but I rarely bring the camera anymore.  I thought the camera would be a good relationship idea but I was mistaken.  I thought  it would somehow change  things.  My mistake.  You can't change people, all you can do is decide whether to love them or  not.  And furthermore . . . oops, I  see  Fa: gotta go.